How to Not Be Anyone's Bitch

Do you ever feel stretched thin? Have you ever wanted to be at a million places at be, or at least be able to schedule three to four appointments in a day?

As mentioned in a previous post, I've learned that traffic can be horrible this side of the hill, maddeningly so. As much as I want to be at three places in one day, it may not be physically possible - and not because I can't get myself there. It's just moving mountains - literal and figurative - is impossible. It's not worth making yourself sick and definitely not worth being anyone's bitch over.

Where does this apply?

1. Friends and family. If you feel like you're putting in a lot more effort than a friend of family member to make your relationship existent, let alone functional, maybe it's time to scale back and evaluate the state of your union. Whether you express this to them is your choice, but chances are actions will speak louder than words.

2. Work. Never, ever, ever go without a break unless it's imperative to a looming deadline and your teammates or otherwise are following suit. Ensure the legality of your right to a break, but also, your value decreases the more strain put upon yourself. Prioritize; say no, pass tasks down; push back. If anything, this can be considered "taking initiative" on your next review.

3. Places of business. Any establishment that requires money for a service can be questioned based on what is provided. If a package is late, or you were double charged on a credit card, call up and (cordially) express concern and what would rectify the issue. This includes banks, online retailers, in store mislabeling, and print advertising.

4. Significant others/new potential partners. It's 2015; let's be real - two halves do not make a whole when it comes to relationships. Respect and trust comes from self ownership and responsibility. Undue stress from being all things to one person has all the makings of being their bitch, and that's the stuff resentment is made of. That's the stuff that kills relationships, no matter how in love or infatuated you are.

Your time is valuable. Your health is valuable. You are valuable. Sorry to spill the tea, but to be all things to all people is a waste of vitality and space. It is not cute, it is not healthy. To paraphrase Mark Twain, be death and taxes' bitch, but all else is extra. I repeat: no one will love or pay you more for being their bitch. Comandeer your life, and you can be sure the rest will follow.

See you tomorrow...

Post-Birthday Recovery aka Juice "Cleanse"

I am far from a nutritionist, so please, don't quote me, but --- I am currently on a partial juice fast in an effort to recover from my birthday/prepare for a busy weekend of cavorting with friends (always a welcome problem to have).

Sans juicer or 6-8 fancy juices a day, I'm kind of doing things the makeshift, semi-Slim Fast way: juice for breakfast, juice for lunch, and "a sensible dinner" (greens, lean protein, and healthy fat). Dessert of fruit or light dairy somethin' somethin' is optional.

However, plenty of fruits and vegetables are on the menu, as are 2-3 liters of water, including herbal tea and the occasional cup of coffee.

I did this last week for five days in an attempt to fit into my birthday outfit, losing six pounds of reluctant water weight (and likely fat). Now I'm doing it for four days to help me get to the weekend. One day in and I already feel a bit more streamlined.

Go-to juice brands have been Bolthouse Farms, Naked, and Odwalla, and here's what I have discovered: having a juicer would be so boss, mainly because some pre-made juices are so sweet. Diluting the Naked brand partially has become a regular thing; Bolthouse's Daily Greens and Odwalla's carrot juice, on the other hand, are fine enough on their own.

What are your favorites? I'd really love to try juice smoothies or protein chocolate drinks, too, but they're rather caloric - at anywhere from 290 to 490 calories per 15.2 ounces, you might as well eat a candy bar. So it's "pure" juices for now in an attempt to ease back into being more physically comfortable as the weather warms up.

(Yeah, it's pretty much springtime in West Hollywood. Things really could be worse.)

And as far as exercise: when taking in less energy, putting out a whole lot of extra energy is a relative recipe for disaster. I personally can't not move around, so here's three ways to take it easy in a semi-challenging way:

1. High intensity interval training (or HIIT), with a timer set at 50/10 for anywhere between 20-45 rounds (here's my favorite timer app, free! and available on Google Play);
2. Vinyasa yoga for 30-60 minutes for stretching, strength, and balance (see a favorite video by Yoga by Candace below);
and/or
3. A long walk to clear the head, with or without music.

In the next week or so, I'm going to do a "review" of green juices, at the ready or self prepared, or of the dried variety. There's no escaping it, really - green juice is pretty much an accessory.

What are your favorite "cleanses", "reboots", "resets"? Is there anything special you do to get back on track, as it were? Share your ideas and experiences in the comments! See you tomorrow.....

Weekend Weho Roundup: Birthday Edition

This weekend was birthday weekend, the big Dirty 30, which means that I spent a lot of money, but you know something - there is a reason we all work, and part of that (I hope) is to have quite a bit of fun.

Bugatta Supper Club

I took Friday (my actual birthday) to myself; found myself a little caught up in work but headed to Century Day & Night Spa for a an amazingly relaxing time (my first time being in a mist sauna - fab). That evening I ended up in DTLA saying farewell to a good friend over glasses of wine at The Must. Excellent selection and ambiance.

Saturday night was birthday party time at  Bugatta on Melrose - what I love about this bar restaurant is that it is in between "the island" of Weho and the mainland Hollywood, a nice middle ground and not too out of the way when it comes to lounging.

Sunday brunch at Marcos again, which is a personal Top Five location for bottomless mimosas in WeHo.... Robert Forster had his usual table by the window, we had our usual more-champagne-than-juice bevvies. Then we headed to PUMP. Then we headed to Micky's. I really should have stopped with the mimosas, but then there wouldn't be fuel for the upcoming glorious post, tentatively to-be titled "The Seven Hour-Long Sunday Brunch".

Mine is bigger than yours!

Sadly, West Hollywood isn't a magical land where everyone brunches every day wearing fabulous sunglasses and frolicking around without a care. Sure, for some, it is, but physically there's only so much sparkling wine one's liver and pancreas can tolerate.

So yesterday I managed to get back into some semblance of post-birthday normalcy by doing chores, then indulging in a hot power yoga class at Hot 8 Yoga on Wilshire Blvd. I am still ridiculously sore from the awesome direction of instructor Aree Khodai - the cleansing twists, reaches, and ab work pushed the limits for a more effective practice.

And? It was completely F-R-E-E. How? I had signed up online a month or so ago to take one of the studios' $8 community classes (never got around to it) - but a couple of weeks ago I received a promotional email to take a class on the house either five days before or after (or on) my birthday. It was such a great class; I absolutely will be back.

So, even with that not costing me a penny, as mentioned at the outset, I spent way more money than intended - even managing to lose a few big dollar bills sometime during all the joyful noise, womp womp. Whether it ended up in a dancer's briefs or in the gutter, it doesn't matter, but it is definitely impetus to lay low - at least until Super Bowl Sunday rolls around!

What were you up to this weekend? Fill me in with a comment below....

Oscar Nominations 2015 - A Messy State of Affairs

The nominations for the Oscars were announced this morning, and already people are saying it's the whitest nomination season since 1998. That was the year headlined by Saving Private Ryan, Shakespeare in Love, and Elizabeth. I guess Whoopi Goldberg hosted for purposes of balance?

My love for the Oscars hasn't changed since I was a kid. I remember taking my Barbie dolls and making gowns for them out of fabric or paper napkins (yeah, I know). It was a fantasy of mine to be able to walk that red carpet in particular for one reason or another. Now that love is more a version of Super Bowl Sunday - meeting friends at Fiesta Cantina on Santa Monica Blvd, watching it play-by-play on giant screens, then seeing Elton John's helicopter land across the street at the Pacific Design Center for his after-Oscars party.

There are many contenders that I'm excited about this year, but it will not be as exciting as last year. I mean, hello, 12 Years a Slave. Queen Lupita. Bow.

But the lack of diversity - not only in ethnic representation, but gender as well - is disconcerting. 

List of non-white Oscar nominees, courtesy of The Huffington Post

Politics run deep everywhere and in everything. Often, the best person for the job is passed up for someone less qualified, but more malleable. Young Money's newest signee? All politics. This is more industry-related than Academy-related, but as a huge representation of that industry (and the most prestigious) this is pretty shameful.

David Oyelowo and Ava DuVernay, actor and director, Selma

This not to say that the nominees are not deserving and that the Academy should fill a quota to make sure all nations and ethnic groups are represented. Rather, how about addressing the source? Briefly put, I dare the entertainment industry on all levels to address: 

1. Filler or token roles. The best friend, the dog walker, the bus driver, etc. Someone who's always "happenin'" with some sort of "hip attitude". 

2. On a mainstream level, "[ethnic] people comedies/romances/dramas". Don't abolish completely but, look at Hollywood at large - there are a lot of types of people here. The all black, all white, all whatever universe is a relative myth in this city, in New York, in Miami... etc. It's possible to be both entertaining and realistic. 

3. Scripts written with a lead character of non-descript secusl orientation, ethnicity, or faith and hiring a lead that portrays the straight, white, and Christian "ideal". This has been a constant for who knows how long and it's a bit insulting on everyone's behalf. 

There are more issues than these, and a change won't happen overnight because it is so ingrained in global society. Global. Addressing these issues should start now, right now, and not stop until these issues are no longer because - I hate saying it, but - there is a whitewashing afoot and everyone deserves better.

Now, can we talk about the Gone Girl snub because as much as I stan for Rosamund, I am not a happy camper.... 

Swift Romance

I was a Taylor Swift fan recently, for about two weeks.

I've been a huge pop fan since I was a kid, from NSYNC, BSB and Britney Spears to Madonna, Whitney Houston and The Pointer Sisters. An electric, glowing track with airy sensibility and rocking undertones? I want it all. So naturally, a snippet of "Style" (from her latest album, 1989) played during a Target commercial and that was the end of that.

I loved about 65% of 1989, "Out of the Woods" and "All You Had to Do Was Stay" being standout tracks. However, I quickly realized that, on the whole, its framework kind of mimicked itself, save for difference in lyrics and background. Pop music in a nutshell; I totally got what I paid for. But for all the notable talk of her musical evolution, you'd think there's be something more ... evolutionary about it.

(For a scientific explanation of this, check out this this article from Mic.com, because science.)

I really like Taylor Swift. She is ridiculously charitable (recently giving a fan $1,989 to go towards student loans, among other good deeds). Her style is Lauren Conrad 2.0, and she seems self-aware and intelligent about her image and the world around her. (I know she received some flack last August for the video for "Shake It Off" being too 'white girl pointing at things in a zoo' - a POV which I understand, but disagree with.)

It's just that 1989 comes off as a bit subpar in depth compared to local talent playing a free show on a Tuesday at the bar. The power of branding and A+ production -- you'll sell a clean 500k copies before anyone is the wiser.

Maybe I am slightly outside the target demographic that stans her (maybe not so much as this poor person, although hahahahahaaa!!). But I love the hell out of pop music, so maybe not. I am conflicted, I tell you.

Yesterday there was a radio interview with Scott Timberg, author of Culture Crash: The Killing of the Creative Class, shining a light on the notion of a creative class in the U.S. itself, what its disappearance has done to the creative professional, and how it has affected the economy (the middle class in particular) in more ways than the obvious. I definitely plan on getting my hands on a copy.

There's nothing wrong with Taylor Swift™, or even being a die-hard fan, but I am personally glad to have snapped out of it in the further hope that maybe some horizons can be broadened for those not merely looking to make it big at others' expense.

Feel free to add to the discussion on my Facebook and Twitter pages or in the comments. See you tomorrow....

Naya Rivera Said....

Naya Rivera guest hosted on The View yesterday, and like on any old Tuesday, Twitter blew up.

There is no problem with her referencing dermatologists' findings that showering every day leads to dry skin and possible susceptibility to certain bacteria. I mean, BuzzFeed did a whole article on it recently and it was very informative; all else besides, it does make sense. People have been politely discouraged from washing their hair everyday; why not their bodies? In some ways, societal norms are habit rather than necessity. No argument there.

What is a problem, though, is that she refers to people in question as "white people" and "ethnics".

I do think she was trying to be funny and all-about-it, but I suggest leaving it to someone established who can take the heat - or the hit - towards their career. But really, why draw a line between ethnic groups? Why go onto Twitter and say, 

When you get out of the shower today, get a sense of humor. Love ya!
— Naya Rivera Dorsey (@NayaRivera) January 13, 2015

Naya? You're in danger, girl.

Get a reality check, and a shower because such thinking has all the makings of a mess.
There are too many prejudices in the world and sadly this contributes to them. Not because Naya is of that mindset, but because it can be easily misconstrued on account of lip-flapping.

Save it for conversation among friends, who know you mean well, so you don't have to explain yourself to a bunch of strangers who don't. Make an ignorant statement and you will get a response from anyone with ears, a brain, and a sense of history. But honestly, I want to thank you - thank you for igniting conversation even further about the space put between "white people" and "ethnics", and that this is still how a good number of people view the world at large. Look at movies, television shows, hair styles, cosmetic tips, mannerisms, ways of being. There is a particular mold that no one speaks about, and even though you were just trying to relate, trying to make us laugh, you further highlighted the divide. So thank you for providing an top-notch example of how to set multiple groups of people back even further, even if it was in jest.

What do you think? Were Naya's comments off the mark or was this random slip of the tongue? Are people right to be so upset or should they just let it go? Discuss in the comments, and don't forget to sound off on Facebook and Twitter.

Coming to Terms with Having a Booty

I grew up in a predominantly white suburb of San Fernando Valley. I currently live in a predominantly white corner of Los Angeles. I have a booty that I did not pay for.

It's taken me a while to come to peace with this fact. While Nicki Minaj, Kim Kardashian, Coco Austin and others have re-revolutionized having a thicker behind, it's not always the easiest thing to live with. Some days I wish I had the long, lithe legs of a Beverly Hills housewife, the tight, pert butt of a sugar baby, the thigh gap (yes, thigh gap) of someone freshly lipo'd and bound. I don't enjoy hearing that I have thick thighs, even if it is a compliment. My body, my feelings. (Although oddly enough I do like thick, muscular thighs on men, so....)

I am aware of my pear-shaped body, and while I love it most days, there are plenty of things that get in the way. Bodacious, juicy things. Some days, they might as well be detachable.

For the record, I do work out and eat well, but allow a 10-15% slack off like most normal individuals should if they desire. If not getting paid/sponsored for it, why be so stringent is all I have to ask? That said, I have come to terms with having a booty. That 10,000 butt implants were performed in the U.S. in 2013 helps, but it's not the sole reason why.

1. I like my booty because it is, in all truth, a ~booty~. Although streamlining with lipo is always an option, no matter what I do, it will always be there. Always.

2. I like my booty because it's my job to make it look good. I can't wear any old jeans or skirt because, as a friend put it lightly while clothes shopping, "it'd be a disservice to smoosh it". So it is my pleasure to make sure it looks its best, whether in yoga pants or a fitted skirt.

3. I like my booty because I am more than my booty. Media has definitely capitalized on the posterior, just like it did with breasts, pectorals, more angular noses, foreheads not moving, etc. I have fun with it, sure, in the right place at the right time (take that how you will). But it is a body part, like any other. In no way is it my brain or my heart, and thankfully, I am valued on account of those far more.

4. Finally, I like my booty simply because it's mine.  I have grown and changed with it, especially when it comes to diet and fitness. It has taken me on 100-mile bicycle rides, 13.1-mile runs, and intense hikes in Yosemite Valley. It has grown and changed with me, plushy in the winter and lifted in the summer. It has become a sexier, more athletic part of me, having learned exercise variations and testing its limit through strength and endurance (sing hallelujah). As much as I'd like to remove it sometimes, I can't - and won't.

To close, here are two of my favorite lower body routines; one standard, one yoga-inspired (click on images to enlarge):