We Like to Drink

Okay, this sounds awful, but I love to drink.
Like to drink. I like to drink.
I enjoy it, okay?

One night my friend and I were at Micky's, him on his third vodka soda, me on my first. I told him, "You know that's vodka, not water, right?", to which he responded, "It's West Hollywood water."

When I go out, one of two scenarios commence: (1) happy hour for "a drink" aka two-for-one cocktails, or (2) brunch aka bottomless mimosas, then a trip to the bar. 

Kitchen 24 on a random Saturday afternoon

Honestly, the drink special is one of the things that West Hollywood has perfected on a ridiculous scale. It is to the point where any establishment sans-special sticks out like a sore thumb (I'm looking at you, PUMP -- it's not brunch if it's not bottomless). 

That said, have too much to drink and you will get sloppy. Slurring and tripping may make for great reality TV, but not so much for real life. In the last year I've hurt my foot, been carried up stairs, and been pinned as the reason why no one can touch the dancers at Micky's anymore (or so goes the rumor in jest du jour; I really don't remember). 

One of my goals this year is to not be sloppy. Here are my five best tips:

1. Alcohol is great, but water is essential. If it hasn't been made obvious by most every health column out there, hangovers are 90%, possibly 100% on account of dehydration. Having one glass of water for every drink keeps you a fun companion, not a slack-jawed fountain of "wisdom".

2. Know your bartender/server, and make sure they know you. Be on a first name basis with bar or restaurant staff, even with the bouncer. Not only will you be set libation-wise, but they might also keep an eye out for you. Granted, it's not their job, but it can come with the territory, and never hurts to be or know another friendly face. This is where a small town feel (and tipping well) especially comes in handy.

3. Don't keep up with your friends. Lovingly speaking, Weho is ripe with functional alcoholics. Don't keep up. Instead, order water with lime until you feel ready. Water looks like vodka, and the FAs will probably be too buzzed to notice or care.

4. Learn to say no. If not up for an afternoon or night out, don't be afraid to decline or take on an alternative. Sometimes a change of scenery is in order: have brunch in DTLA, Burbank, or Culver City; lounge at home; go wine tasting in Malibu (there's a Groupon for that). There's many a way of letting your hair down with a welcome barrier that inhibits getting trashed.

5. Listen to your body. You may have the tolerance of a thousand suns but every star burns out at some point. If you need to leave the bar, settle your tab and go. And if you must compete in the Booze Olympics, the real first place prize goes to whoever can get out of bed the next day without being trapped in a debilitating haze.

This is as bare bones as it gets. We like to drink, and that's okay, but it is really important to know your limits and to draw the line between relaxed fun and downright messy. Take care of both your liver and reputation -- sure, they can regenerate under the right circumstances, but you only get one of each.